I had a fairly "normal" childhood (at least I think so) and grew up involved in church but as a teenager I made the choice that I wanted to do things my way. Well, that didn't really work out...not that being a Christian and living my life for God is a walk in the park. Far from it. I struggle with major depression and borderline personality disorder. I've spent probably the better part of half my life feeling suicidal and even made some serious attempts. I also struggle with self-harm. Doctors and nurses tell me I shouldn't medically be alive because of what I've done, but I'm standing here today as a living testament to what God can do. Yes, I still struggle at times, but I know He is in control and He sees a bigger picture and has a plan for my life and He will bring good from my experiences. For that I thank Him. If I'm meant to struggle with this so that someday my life, my story, can help someone else, I will pick up my cross and carry it and I will praise Him. I may lose sight at times, I may get knocked down, but I am a child of God and I'm no longer ashamed to admit it.

I replied on Facebook, but it's worth saying again. Amen. It takes guts to share your testimony with other, especially to a non-faith specific audience. I should do the same and will start working on something. Thanks again for sharing.

Thank you for the comment here and on facebook. I treasure and thank for every response I've received. I had been thinking for a long time (since before this last period of depression hit) that I should write out my testimony. I kept thinking...I want to...I should...but I don't know what to say. Last night it just came out. I figure it was God's time because it just came out so easily. Sometime I want to write something longer, but then I think sometimes it's better to be brief and to the point and right now I think that's all it's meant to be. I guess what I'm trying to say is you'll write yours in God's time...and when you do I look forward to reading it.

Still praising Him, still sometimes lose sight, and still definitely get knocked down but the fact is "I am a child of God and I'm NOT ashamed to admit it"....in all my years this past year is probably the first time I can say that. I think the time I went through at the end of 2008/beginning 2009 (before I wrote the original testimony) is what ultimately led to a couple life altering realizations...Yes there is a God, No my way isn't working, Yes I want God's will for my life. Prior to that the tough times would come and I would waiver/deny/fight/etc until I hit rock bottom and had no choice but to look up again and would plead forgiveness, promise I won't do it again if You get me out of this mess...which isn't really how it works but that's what I would do.

Well, just wanted to add that little update to my testimony....hope no one minds.

Do we mind? not at all, it's always good to hear encouraging words.

thanks for sharing.